Finding Ayahuasca
With this super full moon in Pisces upon us, I’m reflecting on the past year of my life, and the prayer I’ve held in my heart that has guided me to this day.
To pray likely means something different to each of us. We have our own relationship, or lack there of to this practice. For me, I never jived with the rigid way in which I was taught about prayer in accordance with the religious tradition I was raised in. Nevertheless, I’ve always had a practice of sharing the desires deep in my heart with what I believe to be God, the divine.
For me, the prayers I hold for myself and my life serve as the North Star that guides me in every moment that I navigate this life. Engaging in prayer encourages me to cultivate clarity on what it is I truly desire. In my reality, the universe is always listening and can very often give us what we’re asking for, so I feel I’d better know what I’m really asking for and that I’m ready to receive it.
This time last year, I was clear on the direction I wanted to take my life in, but I wasn’t clear on the next steps to take towards that vision.
I considered the path of becoming a certified psychedelic guide by U.S standards, though something didn’t feel right about going through a process orchestrated by a bunch of white dudes as the way to get to what I was deeply yearning to learn about — facilitating healing experiences with the use of sacred plant medicines. Although my rational mind was thinking logically about how to go about my learning in a way that would give me credibility to one day do this work, my heart knew that the ancestral wisdom I was seeking would best be learned elsewhere.
Lucky for me I was born to an Ecuadorian mother and a cousin of mine was able to connect me to a medicine woman in Ecuador who offered to organize a private retreat for me to meet with different elders and medicine men/women to experience their medicine, rituals and traditions. It wasn’t clear what this would lead to, but it felt like an opportunity to safely gain more personal experience in a manner that was authentic to me, so I followed the pull inside of me telling me to go for it.
I couldn’t have known it at the time, but those 7 days I spent in Ecuador set in motion a chain of events to get me to where I am today.
It was on that retreat that I first met Mercedes, the woman with whom I have developed one of the deepest and most special connections I’ve ever experienced, who is my teacher on the Ayahuasca path. It was during this time that I met the owner of Vikara, who offered me the job that served as the impulse to move to Ecuador. I can see now that it was never about the job, but that I was being called to this land to begin living what feels like the most authentic version of my life I’ve ever lived.
One week after I moved to Ecuador, I met a Sikuani Shaman who was visiting from Colombia who served me Yopo for the first time. He invited the small group that showed up for the ceremony to visit his community, which I did one month later, and that was how I met his father, Abuelo Clemente Gaitan. Abuelo Clemente is a médico tradicional, a traditional healer. The 4 days I spent in his presence in January was enough for me to know that he was someone I wanted to learn from, and luckily, he accepted me as a student.
I’m currently writing this from Abuelo Clemente’s community in Puerto Gaitan, Colombia, where I’ve come to spend a few weeks to absorb all that I can of the healing tradition he is passing on to me.
I’m on my moon, so it’s time to take a pause from all activities here, and instead of sitting with Abuelo Clemente and Yopo, I’m sitting with myself in deep gratitude.
I’m deeply grateful to the divine energy of this universe for answering my prayers and leading me to the teachers I have in my life at this moment in time. I’m grateful for their generosity in what they share with me - their energy, time, and wisdom. I’m grateful for the way in which my journey to them has unfolded, for the challenges just as much as the moments of pure magick.
As I take this opportunity to reflect on a very special chapter of my life, I also feel it’s an opportunity to reaffirm how powerful incorporating prayer in our lives can be.
I think of prayer as the simple act of letting the universe know what we dream for so it can help us in making that dream a reality. This can look like lighting a candle with intention, engaging in a ritual, writing it down, meditating on it, speaking it to the moon, the sea or a tree… whatever you connect with.
Then, take action towards that dream, that vision you hold for yourself and your life. Lean into trust, cultivate your connection to your intuition, play with letting go of reason and letting the divine wisdom that lives within you guide you forward ✨.
