difference between how I tended to be and what was possible.

The more I sat with plant medicines, the more I discovered about myself. I felt like I was meeting myself for the first time. I connected to universal feelings of love and compassion and realized these are essential qualities of who I am.

I saw that the way I thought about things with my mind was often comically off base. I started to get really comfortable with being able to laugh at and forgive myself for how I acted when I didn’t know any better. I felt my entire being start to soften.

Simply put, plant medicines showed me how I was getting in the way of myself.

I took these lessons and started to integrate them into my life. I began to notice when my thoughts were critical or fatalistic and, recalling what I learned in ceremony, I’d flip the narrative. I observed my reactions to situations and looked for what I could learn about myself from this.

Eventually, the micro changes I made in real-time transformed how I showed up in the world. I didn’t have to make as much effort to shift my thoughts because I was developing new patterns. I created a new operating system for myself.

At the same time, the more I connected to myself, the more I realized that the life I wanted looked very different from the life I had. I got to a point where I knew it was time to make a change. I knew nothing was guaranteed, but I was confident in the practices and tools I developed, which sustained me through a massive transition. I decided to leave NYC to focus on my learning, deepening my relationship with plant medicines, starting my own coaching practice, and moving to Ecuador to manage a plant medicine retreat center.